Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Whirlwind

We buried my aunt yesterday. She died just after midnight Saturday morning. The funeral was Monday afternoon. I'm drinking a glass of sweat tea at my computer desk 172 miles away. The tea was something a thoughtful person brought by for one of the meals provided for the family. Simple acts of kindness are much appreciated.

It seems like this year has been one of loss and sadness. Friends, family, pets....grief is grief and has its own recognizable pain. For me it starts off as a dull ache, like I've been stunned almost. Then sadness comes in waves as the memories from years past suddenly flood to the surface. But I don't get lost there. I don't wallow in the sadness or let the grief consume me. There is this peace that passes all understanding, and unless you have come to the point in your life where you have asked Jesus Christ to have your heart, it is not something I can even begin to explain. But it is there. It surrounds in sadness, comforts in pain. Always.

So now, as the bags remain unpacked, the sweet tea and leftover sandwiches in the fridge, and even the roses on the kitchen bar sit snuggly in a plastic tea carton, I will accept that peace. I will recognize the absurdity of having to go to the store to buy yogurt after everything that has transpired these last few days. But my life, the life of my family, continues. There are people I need to take care of and I will do so. It might mean that I forget to buy the chips for their lunches, and somehow come home with three things of hand soap, but I see it as a way to walk in faith and hope. And reflect on the joy of knowing that decisions and relationships we make here can have eternal significance.


Thursday, June 2, 2011

Blindsided

I wrote this song two years ago during a very dark season. Strangely enough, I find the words comforting today. It’s all about perspective I suppose. It has a melody, but hasn’t been arranged yet. I hope that perhaps you might find something in there comforting as well.

Maggie Lee

I haven’t any helpful words,
I haven’t any wisdom left to give.
It is what it is.

Our hearts are marred by circumstance,
And selfish acts can break our past,
And leave valleys to climb.

I don’t pretend to know the why,
I can’t go back and change the time,
But I can stay for a while.

If there’s any consolation here,
I pray you find it soon my dear
And that it surrounds you tonight.

The words that we have lifted up,
Will never fall back down unheard.

The words that we have lifted up,
Will never fall back down unheard.

The words that we have lifted up
Will never fall back down.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Time

There never seems to be enough.
Not enough to really hold someone,
Not enough to share stories, memories and laughter.

It doesn’t move at an acceptable speed.
It crawls by when waiting for a prognosis, a grade, a bud opening into a full blown bloom.

And yet,
It flies by.
You bring a warm little bundle home from the hospital,
And the next thing you know they are beginning a new journey in school.
Then they are finishing school and beginning a new journey entirely.
Their own. Away from you.

It tries to heal wounds and hearts.
It doesn’t always.
Never entirely.


It separates.
It divides.
It erases.

Supply doesn’t match demand.
There is not enough to accomplish everything we think we need to do.
It doesn’t care if we are miserable.
It is relentless.
Not even stopping when your world is broken into a million desperate pieces.


For all its flaws and aggravations,
At least we can say that it’s consistent.
In short supply.
Slow.
Fast.
But always considerately consistent.